The Pleasures and Problems of Prank-calling
by Sakuranbo-hime
Summary: Who knew a few innocent prank-calls by Kagura and Soyo-hime could cause so much trouble? But it's worth it. If they succeed, Yorozuya Gin-chan could be in for 1 BILLION YEN! If they fail, well that's because the Bakufu, the Shinsengumi, Mimawarigumi, Oniwabanshuu, Kiheitai and Harusame would have catched them...
1. Kagura and Soyo's POV

**Don't try this at home kids!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or any of its characters.**

* * *

The Pleasures and Problems of Prank-calling Part I

* * *

In the renowned Edo palace where only the imperial Shogun and nobles reside, there were two young girls having a sleepover. At one o'clock in the morning.

Lying on a futon, Kagura stretched her legs while exclaiming "Soyo-chan, this was so much fun!"

Fidgeting with her hair, the princess of Kabuki-Chou said nervously "Kagura-chan… There's something I saw on the TV and I really want to try it with you."

"What is it Soyo-chan-aru?" Kagura asked as she was eating their favourite food.

"Can we… call… I mean…"

Kagura glimpsed at Soyo who looked like she was having a seizure due to embarrassment.

Flustered, Soyo finally managed to say "Can we prank-call people?"

Squinting in confusion, Kagura deadpanned "I don't know what a 'prank-call' is-aru."

Soyo did a double-take. "Kagura-chan… It's when you call people as a joke."

Placing her hand under her chin, Kagura contemplated and then said with a smile "If you want to try it, then let's… JUST DO IT-aru!"

Watching her best friend stand in Gintoki's host club pose, Soyo clapped her hands and beamed. "Kagura-chan! I'm so happy! Who shall we call first?"

"Hmm… Gin-chan told me I was prank-called or something… Maybe we should do him first-aru."

"Okay! What's the number?"

* * *

Call 1: Gin-chan

* * *

01:03AM

* * *

In a small apartment, a silver permed haired samurai heard a distant ringing in the living room. At first, he ignored it and when it stopped, went back to sleep.

After 10 seconds, it rang again.

_God damn it! Stop ringing! _Waking up from his futon, he went to the phone and picked it up.

"OI! Care to explain why you're calling at this time?"

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Huh, what are you talking about?"

"YOU MADE ME PREGNANT!"

"… Not again. Err, wait until I-I get t-he t-time m-machine."

"WHAT? A TIME MACHINE? I LOVE YOU!"

"…Alright. I will take responsibility as a man."

"Damn right."

"Where did we meet? Where are you from? What's your name? What do you look like?"

"EHHH! Err..."

* * *

"Kagura-chan, what should I do? He thinks we really did it!"

"Lend me the phone-aru."

* * *

"Oi, who is this-aru?"

"I'm Sakata Gintoki and I apologize-"

"STAY ****** AWAY FROM MY *** GURL ********-aru."

"… Hello? Kagura-chan? Don't tell me…"

"Who is this Kagura-chan you talkin' about? I'm Kaguura=Jasant-aru!"

"YOU CAN'T FOOL THIS OLD MAN! KAGURA-CHAN, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTERESTED IN THE SAME GENDER! SHOCK! Hage is going kill me! KAGURA, YOU COME BACK TO YOROZUYA RIGHT NOW- Hello? KAGURA!"

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's do that again Soyo-chan!"

Giggling, Soyo realized something. "But, is it okay to make Gin-chan worry?"

Laughing her butt off, Kagura held her stomach while trying to say "Its fine! Gin-chan will probably come here busting in and steal me away in one hour so let's have some more fun!"

"Okay!"

* * *

Call 2: MADAO

* * *

01:06AM

* * *

A depressed and miserable man lied in a junkyard, watching his sunglasses get stolen by a scrawny dog. All of the sudden, he heard a phone ring among the rubbish.

Scavenging through the waste, he found his mobile he thought someone stole and answered it.

"Moshi moshi? Are you another one of those people who enjoy making my life a nightmare?"

"…No. But cheer up sir! Congratulations, you are about to be the proud winner of two free space tickets where you and your wife can stay two weeks in a luxurious hotel in the Planet Fakinaway!"

"Really? Hatsu and I will get two tickets to space?"

"Yes! All you have to do is guess who the next voice you hear is. You will have three chances. Ready?"

"I'll try but don't expect much."

"Yo MADAO. Do you know who I am-aru?"

"… Is it Alphonse Elric from F***m**** A********?"

"Beep Bop! WRONG! Two more chances-aru!"

* * *

"Soyo-chan, who is Alphonse Elric?"

"I don't know Kagura-chan. Maybe he has the same voice as you?"

"Nahhh."

* * *

"…Is it Happy from F**** T***?"

"WHO IS HAPPY? ONE MORE CHANCE-ARU!"

"…Is it Ka…"

"Yeah-aru?"

"Karin Kurosaki from B*****?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-ARU!"

"Wa-Wait! It's Nemu Kurotsuchi from B*****!"

"Sorry sir, you do not get the tickets. Have a nice day!"

"Thank-"

The phone battery died. MADAO trembled to the ground.

"GOMENASAI HATSU! FORGIVE ME! IF YOU CAN'T, KILL ME! IF YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I'LL COMMIT SEPPUKU!"

* * *

Sighing, Kagura wondered "How could MADAO not recognise my voice-aru?"

"But maybe it's a good thing he didn't win otherwise we would have to create Planet Fakinaway, build a luxurious hotel and then make tickets."

"… I guess you're right Soyo-chan. Who should we call next?"

"What are you girls doing at this time?" an emotionless voice echoed in the bedroom.

Turning around, the girls saw Soyo's Mimawarigumi guard beside the door.

"Nobume-san!"

"Yo Nobu-chan! We're prank-calling-aru!"

"Prank-calling? I see. May I try?"

"Of course!"

* * *

Call 3: Sabu-chan

* * *

01:15AM

* * *

In the sleeping quarters of the élite Sasaki Dojo, the monocle-wearing commander of Mimawarigumi swiftly took out his phone from his desk and pressed the answer button.

"I would be honoured if you are calling at quarter past one in regards of becoming one of my email buddies."

"Hello, this is the Dunkin' Donuts and if you were to buy 500 doughnuts, I'll become your email buddy.

* * *

"Wow Nobume-san! You sound exactly like a man!"

"Shush. I must get my doughnuts."

"..."

* * *

"Hmmm… interesting but considering that I already have you as an email buddy won't make me buy you more doughnuts Nobume-chan."

"…I will eliminate the vice-commander of Shinsengumi."

"How many doughnuts did you want?"

"One thousand doughnuts by tomorrow."

"I expect to see Hijikata's body on my doorstep tomorrow as well. Good night Nobume-chan."

"It is dawn."

"Good morning Nobume-chan."

* * *

"I shall have to depart now in order to assassin a demon."

Taking out her katana from the sheath, the navy-haired vice-commander of Mimawarigumi walked out while her dark crimsoned eyes held that glint of bloodlust.

Smiling, Soyo waved. "See you Nobume-chan!"

"Make sure you don't meet Sadist-aru!"

"I might have to kill him too." Nobume whispered.

Kagura had a revelation. "Ah! That reminds me, let's call Sadist-aru!"

"Okay!"

Smirking, Kagura cackled. "MWAHAHAHA! Wait, do we know his number-aru?"

* * *

Call 4: Sadist

* * *

01:19AM

* * *

The first division captain of Shinsengumi awoke at the sound of his mobile ringing in his pocket. Frustrated, he took off his sleeping mask and took it out to check the caller ID. Unfortunately for him, it said 'unknown caller'.

_Who dares to disrupt my beauty sleep? My sleeping hours is the reason I'm such a bishounen._

"Yes?"

"_Hellooo_ there. Still wearing that _cute_ sleeping mask?"

"Who is this?"

"You don't need to know _sweetheart_."

"I think I do. Your voice is making me want to _murder_ you."

"Oh my, that must be the most _romantic_ phrase I've heard."

"Are you a 'M'?"

"No dear, I'm an _S _just like you."

"Really? When can I meet you?"

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHA! Sugoi Soyo-chan. You made Sadist want to see you-aru!"

Holding the phone to Kagura, Soyo asked "Want to try Kagura-chan?"

"I hope he won't recognise me-aru. I'll try not to say aru."

* * *

"I'm sorry darling; I'm _naked_ and I'm chained to the wall waiting for someone holding a _whip_ and _cream."_

"…China?!"

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-aru! How did he know it was me-aru?"

"Try and convince him!"

* * *

"Oh no dear, I'm not _China,_ I'm _Japan._ Is China your _girlfriend?"_

"No _unfortunately_ she's not."

_"Unfortunately?"_

"It seems like she betrayed me by going to another _sadist._ I'm coming China."

The line dropped.

"****-aru."

* * *

Kagura began stressing out. "What do we do? Sadist is coming-aru!"

"Let's hope he meets Nobume-san!"

"…"

Remembering that this was Sadist that they were talking about, Kagura was relieved.

"Oh well, I don't think Sadist is smart enough to know where I am-aru. Let's find out how Mayora is doing against Nobu-chan-aru!"

* * *

Call 5: Mayora

* * *

01:23AM

* * *

Hiding between the alleys of Kabuki-Chou was an extremely aggravated, hostile demonic vice-commander who had reluctantly grabbed his phone from his chest pocket and growled.

"Who the **** is this?"

"Who's the illegal immigrant now-aru?"

"What the? What are you talking about?"

"You Mayora. Since you're being hunted by the Mimawarigumi; that means you are an illegal immigrant-aru."

"That makes no sense! And how the **** do you know that bitch is trying to kill me?"

"I can see you. I've been with you ever since you liked me. I am… MAYO."

"M-M-Mayo-sama?"

"Yes-aru?"

"Wait a ******* second, Mayo doesn't say aru. You're that alien China girl who Sougo talks about in his sleep."

"What did you say-aru?"

"He says 'One dead China girl. Two dead China girls. Three dead China girls. Four dead China girls. Five… zzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"OI! WHY DOESN'T HE COUNT SHEEP-ARU?"

"I've told him that before! He used to count 'One idiot Hijikata corpse.'!"

"There you are. Stop running away like a coward or are you running away because you know this is the day I assassinate you and you would prefer to be killed by someone else?"

"GRRRR! You're just like Sougo!"

The line dropped.

"HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT ****** ******* BASTARD-ARU!"

* * *

"When will we get someone who won't know its me-aru?"

"Hasegawa-san didn't know it was us."

"MADAO doesn't count. I know! Zura! Zura is such a baka; he won't know-aru!"

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da!"

"..."

* * *

Call 6: Zura

* * *

01:27AM

* * *

"And that is why the Shinsengumi is a pathetic, worthless excuse of justice."

"Arigatou Katsura-san!"

"My pleasure. I hope- excuse Jackie, I must answer the phone."

"Please go ahead."

As a big nosed Joui patriot left the headquarters of the Katsura Fraction, a man in his twenties with long, silky black hair, wearing a blue kimono with a yellow sash while his hands were tucked under his sleeves took out his phone and answered the persistent caller.

_Could it be that rotten Shinsengumi? I should use a fake name as they lack the knowledge to know it's me._

"This is Captain Katsuura. May I ask who is calling?"

"Yo Zura, its Dirty Matako, Shinsuke's bitch-aru."

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da! If I remember correctly, you were the Takasugi's comrade who wore inadequate clothing and lost to Leader."

"Yes, that's me-aru!"

"What is your intention of calling me?"

"I just wanna let you know Shinsuke may act mean but in reality..."

"Yes?"

"He is totally... IN LOVE WITH YOU! He tells me everyday how he wishes Harusame captured you and gave him your head so he could stroke your hair. And that he loves your sexy ass-aru!"

"..."

"Bye sexy lady! OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!"

"OPPA GANGNAM STYLE ja nai, Katsura da!"

* * *

"Maybe we should start prank-calling girls?"

"I don't know any other girls except you Kagura-chan and Nobume-chan."

"Hmmm… I know! Sa-chan!"

* * *

Call 7: Sa-chan

* * *

01:31AM

* * *

Crawling out of the ceiling of the Yorozuya flat was a myopic lilac-haired ninja.

Hearing her phone suddenly ring "GIN-SAN!" she hastily took it out and whispered "Who dares to call me at this time?"

"Hello madam, please could you tell us who was the last person you had sex with-aru?"

"_Excuse me_? Only Gin-san needs to know but I'm saving myself for him."

"A patient here at the clinic named you as a recent sexual partner. Would you like to come in for some tests-aru?"

"Who the hell was the patient?!"

"Hattori Zenzo-aru."

The line dropped.

"NOOOOOOOOO! WHO WOULD DO _IT_ WITH THAT HEMORRHOID-NEEDS-A-HAIRCUT IDIOT?! I THOUGHT HE ONLY LIKED UGLY GIRLS! DOES THAT MEAN I'M UGLY?!"

"OI?! WHO THE HELL IS THERE?"

"GIN-SAN! I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! TAKE MY VIRGINITY!"

"AHHHHH!"

* * *

Call 8: Tama

* * *

01:33AM

* * *

"SHUT UP! What the hell is that rent-avoiding idiot doing at this time?"

"Otose-sama, the phone is ringing."

"Tama, could you please answer it? I'm not in the mood."

"Yes Otose-sama. Don't worry; you're safe with me Telephone."

Picking up the telephone as if it was fragile and delicate, the innocent green-haired robot said "Otose Snack Bar. We do not do takeaways. How may we help you?"

"How does it feel to be a robot maid?"

"It is a satisfactory feeling and I do not have any regrets."

"What if I was to tell you I could grant any wish, any desire and any dream?"

"I would say no thank you."

"Please, I _need_ you to make a wish; I'm a genie trapped inside the telephone. Just _rub_ me."

"I do not sense a soul within the telephone."

_"That's_ because I have no soul."

"..."

"..."

"Oh my god."

* * *

Call 9: Kyuu-chan

* * *

01:36AM

* * *

"Oo eh ah ee! (Here's the phone!)"

"Thank you Jugem-Jugem Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Day Before Yesterday Underwear Shinpachi's Life Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling Two Thirds Worried-Over-A-Hangnail Feeling Though Betrayal Knows My Name I Know The Unknown The Cuttlefish Tastes Kind Of Different Than It Did Last Time Because It Was Caught Near The Pond And Served With Oil From A Hoofed Mammal, Pepepepepepepepepepepe Take Care From Here On In Please And Finally The End Bichigu Somaru."

Taking the phone from Jugem-Jugem Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Day Before Yesterday Underwear Shinpachi's Life Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling Two Thirds Worried-Over-A-Hangnail Feeling Though Betrayal Knows My Name I Know The Unknown The Cuttlefish Tastes Kind Of Different Than It Did Last Time Because It Was Caught Near The Pond And Served With Oil From A Hoofed Mammal, Pepepepepepepepepepepe Take Care From Here On In Please And Finally The End Bichigu Somaru, the heir of the Yagyuu clan answered.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hello, this is the Free **** Centre and we are making a special offer to those who wish to have a free ****."

"Really? What do I have to do to get a free ****?"

"Just answer this simple question! Who is the sexiest female character in Gintama?"

"Hmmm..."

"Got an answer yet?"

"Tae-chan... I mean Shimura Tae."

"Beep Bop! That's not the right answer. I'm sorry madam; you do not get a free ****. Better luck next time!"

"I AM NOT MADAM, I AM SIR!"

"Not without a free ****!"

* * *

Call 10: Ayumu

* * *

01:41AM

* * *

Even though he knew he was one of the comic relief characters in Gintama and the leader of the 4 Devas of Yagyuu 100%, Ayumu was dreaming about being that little ring thingy on the shower.

"Whatever curtain is put on me, It's always "Shah"s to the left or the right! Shah-ing between the dojo and loft, Shah-ing between life and death! I'm doomed to keep Shah-ing until I die! I'll be just like those Shah-rails! I'm just a great big shah! But there's shah thing I can do! I'm a Shah!"

And then, his phone shahed.

Shahing up, Ayumu shahed and shahed the phone.

"Shah?"

"Sorry for bothering your shah-ing time but we are offering to give you fifty Gothic Lolita dresses if you answer this question."

"G-Gothic Lolita! Please! Shah me the question!"

"Who is the sexiest female character in Gintama?"

"Waka… I mean Yagyuu Kyuubei."

"Beep Bop! That's not the right answer. I'm sorry sir; you do not get the Gothic Lolita dresses. Better luck next time!"

The line dropped.

Collapsing onto the floor, his eyes became wide open, revealing pupils glowing with an unearthly green, blue or red.

"SHAAAAAAAAAHH! I WANT EGG SAUCE OVER RICE NOW! IT BETTER BE FRESH!"

* * *

Call 11: Tsukki

* * *

01:45AM

* * *

Patrolling around the Yoshiwara streets was a blonde busty woman who saw the Sun of Yoshiwara come walking towards her.

"Tsukki, _someone_ wants to talk to you!"

"Yes Hinowa-sama!"

Rushing to the phone, Tsukuyo answered "This is the Death God Courtesan, how may I help you?"

"YO GIRLFRIEND, THIS IS SA-CHAN-ARU!"

"Sa-chan? Oh, Sarutobi-san right? Is there somethin' wrong? You sound different."

"THERE'S NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER! I JUST WANNA LET YOU KNOW I'M GETTING MARRIED-ARU!"

"You have my congrats. Who's the lucky guy?"

"GIN-CHAN-ARU!"

"WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT?"

"THAT'S RIGHT; YOU LOST TO ME, THE SEXY MASOCHISTIC MONKEY-ARU!"

"Ahem, pardon my outburst. I hope you two havealovelymarriagesogoodbye!"

"I'M ALSO PREG-"

The line dropped.

"Who was that Tsukki?"

"Oh, it was no one Hinowa-sama. Do we have any sake left?"

"Was it something related to Gintoki?"

"NOOO! Ahem, what makes you think that?"

"You're ripping up all the pictures you have of Gintoki."

"SAKE!"

* * *

Call 12: Anego

* * *

01:56AM

* * *

Emerging from a porcelain vase was the Shinsengumi stalker who heard the phone ringing in the hallways of the Shimura Dojo.

Wanting his beloved to not have her sleep disrupted, he crept out and quickly answered the phone.

"Hello?"

* * *

"Kagura-chan, a man answered."

"Oh, that should be Megane-aru."

"No, it doesn't sound like Shinpachi-kun."

"Eh?! Oh, I know who it is; hand me the phone-aru."

* * *

"Ano, moshi moshi?"

"OOO AHH OOO EEEE AHHH. (I am Princess Bubbles)."

"EHHHHH?"

"Who's there? Help Shin-chan! There's someone in the house!"

"It's okay Ane-ue; I have pepper spray!"

"That's useless Shin-chan! Get my naginata!"

"But Ane-ue, I can't see anything without my glasses!"

"Mou Shin-chan, why do you have bad eyesight? No one in the Shimura family had this disease!"

"That's because no one had you as a sister! Whose fault is it that I have to wear glasses?"

"Be quiet Shin-chan! Just pepper spray the intruder!"

"Okay Ane-ue!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"EH? Kondo-san?"

"Shinpachi-kun! Save me from that vicious gorilla!"

"That's what I should be saying! GET OUT!"

"OOOOOOO EEEEEEE OOO AHH EH EH OOOO AH! (I AM KING KONG! GIVE ME ALL YOUR SUKONBU!)"

"Kagura-chan, I know that's you. Gin-san told me you have been prank-calling the residents of Kabuki-Chou. Prank-calling is not a good thing to do Kagura-chan. Just go back to sleep okay?"

"SHUT UP SHINPACHI! I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR FAVOURITE IDOL AND TELL HER YOU STILL ***** **** *** *****!"

"OI KAGURA-CHAN! GO BACK TO YOROZUYA AND- Moshi moshi? KAGURA-CHAN!"

"Was that Kagura-chan? You should go after her!"

"But Ane-ue, it's dark outside! She'll be safe with Gin-san."

"I DON'T TRUST THAT HENTAI! GO BEFORE I MAKE BREAKFAST!"

"OKAY!"

* * *

"MWAHAHAHAHA! Gorilla and Megane are so stupid-aru!"

Feeling guilty, Soyo whispered "...Kagura-chan, I'm starting to think Shinpachi-kun was right. We've been lying, cheating and giving false information to others."

"The princess is right Kagura."

"Gin-chan! How did you get here-aru?"

Grinning, Gintoki put his thumps up. "Don't worry about the details but if anyone asks, I did not do that to the Shogun."

"Okay Gin-chan, I'm ready to come back home-aru."

"Thank you Kagura-chan for doing something I selfishly asked and got you in trouble."

Placing her hand on Soyo's shoulder, Kagura sighed. "It's okay Soyo-chan. I'm sorry Gin-chan-aru."

Shrugging, Gintoki stated "Oi, I never said prank-calling was a bad thing. Let's call the Shogun and convince him pay funds to the Yorozuya."

Soyo was incredulous. "We're going to lie to Nii-sama?"

"If the Yorozuya gets more funds, Kagura will be able to visit here everyday."

"Okay!"

"Yosh! We're going to pull the biggest prank-call in the whole Kabuki-Chou! Here's the plan!"

* * *

Call 13: Shogun-sama

* * *

02:00AM

* * *

Recovering after being hit in the ***** and ****, Shige Shige saw one of the many servants come and hand him a vibrating phone.

"Yes, this is the Shogun Tokugawa Shige Shige."

"Nii-sama! Help me!"

"Soyo-chan?! What's wrong?!"

"I-I've been kidnapped by the Kiheitai!"

"Where are you now?!"

"I-I don't know! In a dark room!"

"Do not worry; the entire army will come searching for you! I order everyone to conduct a search party to find Soyo-hime!"

"Yes Shogun-sama!"

"There's no need for that Shogun-sama."

"And why is that?"

"If you were to give 1 billion yen to this bank account I'm sending you in the next four hours, we will safely return the princess. If you fail, we will... kill her."

"I see. May I at least know the name of the kidnapper?"

"It's... TAKASUGI SHINSUKE AND MY ACCOMPLICE, KAMUI!"

"IF YOU DON'T HURRY, IT'S THE END FOR THE PRINCESS-ARU!"

The line dropped.

"Everyone, find Takasugi Shinsuke and Kamui's whereabouts and apprehend them!"

"But Shogun-sama, those two are the two most wanted space pirates in the entire universe!"

"I see. Although I cannot forgive them, I will give them the money. What is their bank account?"

"We have received this suspicious letter."

A piece of paper stating "Gin-Kag-Soyo Funds" was handed to Shige Shige.

"Prepare the money."

"Yes Shogun-sama."

* * *

02:04AM

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"That was amazing Gin-chan! It was a good idea to say my Baka-Aniki was their ally-aru!"

Surprised, Soyo asked "Kagura-chan, you had a brother too?"

"Yep! A cruel, stupid baka who left me and wants to kill Gin-chan-aru. Next time I see him, HE IS DEAD! DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"

Realizing that Kagura's voice could attract the guards, Gintoki placed his index finger on her lips. "Calm down Kagura, now we have the entire Bakufu searching for them, it's likely they'll find and capture them."

"I hear voices! Over here!"

"Quick! It might be the intruders!"

After face palming when the guards heard them, Gintoki quickly lifted up Soyo and took Kagura's hand. "Time to run away girls!"

* * *

02:15AM

* * *

In the garden of the palace came rushing out a silver perm samurai, a gluttonous China girl and the 'kidnapped princess'.

"Stop right there Takasugi!"

Appearing from the bushes was the leader of the Jouishishi and his pet.

"Zura?!"

"Zura ja nai! Katsura da! Gintoki?!"

"What are you doing here Zura-aru?"

"Leader! I'm here because I have been informed that Takasugi is nearby. I want to confirm something with him."

Sweat-dropping, Kagura muttered "Uh oh-aru..."

A sign went up saying "I told you it was a prank-call."

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you Elizabeth."

"W-Wait a second, did you say Takasugi is nearby?"

"Yes, don't you see his ship flying above us?"

"WHAT!?"

Hovering over the idiots were a smirking cyclops smoking a kiseru, a girly Yato killer and his armless accomplice, a deaf shamisen playing samurai, a bald lolicon and Shinsuke's bitch.

Smoking his kiseru, Takasugi smirked. "Yo Gintoki, Zura."

Beside him, Kamui waved. "Yo samurai-san, imouto-chan."

"Wake me up from this dream..."

"I'll pinch you Gin-chan if you pinch me-aru..."

"IT'S NOT A DREAM!" Busting through the gates was Shinpachi riding Gintoki's scooter with Sadaharu behind.

"Patsuan!"

"Shinpachi!"

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU PRANK-CALLING WAS BAD?!"

"Don't be so angry Patsuan, if we get the funds, we could get all the strawberry milk in the entire world!"

"And all the sukonbu in the world-aru!"

"MWAHAHA!"

"SHUT UP! GET ON SADAHARU AND THE SCOOTER!"

Gintoki jumped onto the scooter and drove with Shinpachi sitting on the backseat while Kagura and Soyo-chan got on Sadaharu.

"O-Oi, what about me?"

"Use your duck Zura!"

"Duck ja nai, Elizabeth da!"

And Katsura rode on Elizabeth as if she was a horse.

"Think you can run away after humiliating the Kiheitai with false accusations?"

Using a large cannon, Kamui aimed it at the idiots and smirked. "Sayonara samurai-san."

* * *

**Cliff-hanger Issues**

**Will Kamui manage to blow up Gin-chan and the crew?!**  
**Will the Shogun prepare the money and give it to Yorozuya in time?!**  
**Will Nobu-chan kill Mayora before dawn and get her doughnuts from Sabu-chan?!**  
**Will Tsukki become drunk off sake after hearing about Gin-chan and Sa-chan's marriage (again)?!**  
**Will Sa-chan kill the innocent Hattori who is probably in Yoshiwara with ugly courtesans?!**  
**Will MADAO commit seppuku for not being able to win tickets to the fake Planet Fakinaway?!**  
**Will Kyuu-chan get a ****, even if it meant going against Yagyuu Panic 100%?!**  
**Will Tama recover from the shock that an object in Gintama has no soul?!**  
**Will Sadist ever come and confess his feelings for our favourite China girl?!**

**If you wanna find out, all you have to do is... REVIEW! If you have any ideas, just PM me or write any ideas or criticism you have in a review. This is Sakuranbo-hime and I'm signing out. Good night everybody**!


	2. Kamui and Takasugi's POV

**I cannot believe I made a Part II…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or any of its characters.**

* * *

The Pleasures and Problems of Prank-calling Part II

* * *

Floating aimlessly around space was a long, flight-capable ship. Belonging to one of the fearsome extremist groups recklessly determined on causing world destruction, it was no ordinary vessel for it currently was carrying the leader of Kiheitai and the 7th Division Captain of Harusame. Or in other words, two evil 170cm boys.

While everyone was sleeping, the biggest eater in Gintama woke up at the sound of his stomach and made his way to the kitchen fridge.

Before he could open the box of heaven, an amused voice echoed. "Oi, captain. What do you think you're doing at this time?"

Stopping at the voice of his subordinate, Kamui retorted politely "Abuto, is what I do in the morning require your authorization?"

The one-armed Yato chuckled and replied "Is it morning? Since we're always drifting along, I'm not sure what the time actually is."

"True. Don't tell me that you're hungry too." Kamui narrowed his eyes.

"Don't worry captain. You can have all the food to yourself but save some for your friends."

Raising an eyebrow, the younger Yato smirked. "Friends? Don't make me laugh! I only delayed the fight with that samurai but after we destroy the land of the samurai, I'll kill him."

Abuto scoffed. "So, what's taking you so long to destroy the Earth?"

Kamui shrugged as he ate another bowl of rice. "Ask Sorachi-sensei."

Scratching his brown hay-coloured hair, Abuto began walking back to the sleeping quarters but prior to his departure, he said smugly "Don't be such a stiff, captain."

Rolling his eyes, Kamui continued eating his tenth bowl.

* * *

02:00AM (In Kabuki-Chou)

* * *

Finally having his stomach satisfied, Kamui grimly glanced at the mountains of plates that had overflowed the kitchen.

"It's not my turn to wash the plates. I think."

Rushing over to the schedule which showed the different chores everyone had to do, Kamui was relieved to see he was on floor duty. But wait, who was on dish duty?!

"T-Takasugi…"

"Kamui, looking at the chore timetable? If only it was a Wednesday…" said a deep voice. A sweat-drop dropped from Kamui's forehead as he tried to look away from a petrifying glare full of malevolence and brutality which was directed solely at him.

"Now Takasugi-kun-"

Butting in, Takasugi asked with a smirk "Who did you say you were going to kill?"

"That samurai from Earth!"

Even though Kamui pretended to be scared in order to let Takasugi feel in power (you know how arrogant and egotistic Leos are), he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of intimidation from the older man.

Stepping forward, Takasugi said "You view Gintoki as your prey don't you? I view every single creature, Amanto or human, as prey. Including-"

Unexpectedly, the phone rang. Leaping towards it, Kamui was thankful to whoever decided to interrupt their conversation.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Can I speak to Takasugi please?"

The voice sounded familiar to Kamui but he couldn't quite name the person. Oh well. Giving the phone to a mildly embarrassed Takasugi, Kamui left the room and went back to bed, feeling swollen with pride.

"Hello, is this Takasugi?"

His eyes widened at the voice but he soon composed himself. "What do you want?"

"My delightful subordinate has informed me that two girls have been prank-calling Kabuki-Chou."

"And?"

"It seems that they have impersonated as you to prank-call the Shogun and now the Bakufu is out searching for you."

"I see."

"What you do is none of my concern but can you at least reply to my emails? Another samurai who has the same birthday as me never texts back-"

The line dropped.

Gaining an idea of who pretended to be him, Takasugi began laughing Takehito Koyasu's laugh. So Gintoki thought he could get away using his name?

"Bansai, head towards Earth now."

Coming forward from the shadows, Shinsuke's right hand man replied "Yes, Shinsuke-sama."

* * *

BACK TO THE PRESENT

* * *

Hovering over the idiots were a smirking cyclops smoking a kiseru, a girly Yato killer and his armless accomplice, a deaf shamisen playing samurai, a bald lolicon and Shinsuke's bitch.

Smoking his kiseru, Takasugi smirked. "Yo Gintoki, Zura."

Beside him, Kamui waved. "Yo samurai-san, imouto-chan."

"Wake me up from this dream..."

"I'll pinch you Gin-chan if you pinch me-aru..."

"IT'S NOT A DREAM!" Busting through the gates was Shinpachi riding Gintoki's scooter with Sadaharu behind.

"Patsuan!"

"Shinpachi!"

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU PRANK-CALLING WAS BAD?!"

"Don't be so angry Patsuan, if we get the funds, we could get all the strawberry milk in the entire world!"

"And all the sukonbu in the world-aru!"

"MWAHAHA!"

"SHUT UP! GET ON SADAHARU AND THE SCOOTER!"

Gintoki jumped onto the scooter and drove with Shinpachi sitting on the backseat while Kagura and Soyo-chan got on Sadaharu.

"O-Oi, what about me?"

"Use your duck Zura!"

"Duck ja nai, Elizabeth da!"

And Katsura rode on Elizabeth as if she was a horse.

"Think you can run away after humiliating the Kiheitai with false accusations?"

Using a large cannon, Kamui aimed it at the idiots and smirked. "Sayonara samurai-san."

* * *

**So, this chapter explained how Takasugi found out about the prank-calls. But, who was the informant? Was it:**

**A: Katsura Kotarou**

**B: Sasaki Isaburo**

**C: Itou Kamotarou**

**Whoever guesses right will get the privilege of asking for a request! There can be more than one winner! Just put the answer you think it is in a review! See ya next time!**


End file.
